interesting convo.

B and I had an interesting conversation the other night.  One that he actually initiated.  We were talking about this IVF cycle and being positive and what not.  And how once we go through with this first ER, we will learn a lot about the quality of my eggs and whether or not we actually make good embryos together.  Which is something I'm actually kind of looking forward to.  Not because I think we necessary make good embryos, but because it will finally be an answer to an unknown.  Being unexplained is something I've always struggled with because no doctor can seem to tell us WHY we can't get pregnant.  But that may change once they can get my eggs under a microscope.

Anyways, our conversation then veered towards the what ifs.  What if my eggs suck?  What if our embryos suck?  What then?  B wanted to know if I was open to donor sperm or donor eggs.  I told him I was.  I actually always have been and have thought about it in the past, I just don't think we had really talked about it before.  Probably because it's not something that really comes to mind until you're actually going through IVF.

I honestly don't think we will ever need to do donor sperm.  I really don't think B is the issue.  My eggs on the other hand, could quite possibly be the problem.  I've kind of been suspecting it ever since our m/c.  Plus, three years of IF makes you start thinking, hey, maybe my eggs DO suck.

I think what surprised me the most though, was that B said he was open to both options as well.  That surprised me because prior to this new insurance coverage we have, back when we were completely OOP, he was very gungho about adoption.  He was willing to move to straight to adoption and skip IVF completely.  Me, on the other hand...well, I wasn't ready to do that.  I'm still not.  We were kind of at a stalemate in that regards.

But now that we have this awesome insurance coverage, it seems like B has kind of changed his tune.  Which is great, because now I feel like we're both on the same page.  It was very refreshing.